Okay?!

– It’s okay.

In life you will get hurt, you will be treated as a “nobody” and that’s okay.

You will get angry, you will get mad and that’s okay.

You will live in denial at times and other times you will embrace the truth and that’s okay.

You will try your best, you will give up then try again; sometimes you will feel alive and sometimes you will feel numb and that’s okay.

Every day will be slightly different and that’s okay.

You ‘ll turn that alarm off, drag yourself out of bed, hoping for a miracle, just any miracle would do. The day begins, it ends…you finish it looking like a zombie and that’s okay.

A glass of wine; white wine preferably. You sit by the window, grab a book you’ve wanted to read a year ago. One hour later; the glass is empty, the book is still closed, you’re still looking from that window and that’s okay.

A dream would do. You’re good wih dreaming; it’s what keeps you going. Dream big or dream small, whatever. As long as you come back then it’s okay.

Forget dreaming. Go dancing. Let yourself loose for once. Release that inner child. Make a mistake. It’s alright, it’s okay.

Stop caring if you lose them, let them care for once it’s okay.

Throw a lie here and there; standing by a principle is no longer fashionable..and that’s okay.

– Wait! So when is it NOT okay?

– You, convincing yourself that THIS is okay!

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2017

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Migraine: my best friend.

Ever heard how they keep saying always keep your friends close but your enemies closer?

Yeah well, migraine: my friend and enemy; has been there for me ever since I was around 16 years old, now that I’m 30, it hasn’t left my side, not once, not one day, not one moment: the loyalty it has…AWESOME!

I wish it would betray me once.

Yesterday for example, I had to be dragged to the emergency room because I couldn’t lift my head, couldn’t stand the glimpse of light or a sound; my head and eye felt as if they were about to explode.

Still, with the ER care, my daily medications; my pain was decreased by 50% only.

Why am I blogging about it? Because for all of you who never experienced a painful thing such as a migraine; it’s as if you were banged in the head with a nail, and the nail was stuck between your skull and eye and someone was trying to pull the nail and your eye out at the same time with no success. And if they happen to succeed, you get no painkillers because guess what? NOTHING WORKS!

You just wish you could bang your head to a wall so hard that giving birth would seem a piece of cake (trust me I have 3 kids, I know what giving birth feels like).

Each person suffering from migraine would notice that the pain can be triggered by anything depending on the patient, mine is triggered by stress, fatigue, cheese, menstrual period, chocolate, weird/bad smells, etc.

Don’t you just love how our brain works?

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2017

Written by “Her”…

They say she took the shadows on her wall as friends.

They say she spends sleepless nights waiting for the pain to end.

She lies on a cloud and talks alone.

She hears angels singing and brings them home.

They say she dances on trees and lives upon rainbows.

Her tears often fall down her cheek to hide the storm.

She probably loves living alone, while wars are drawn on the walls.

They say she lives with love.

They say she has riddles to solve.

She lifts her hands to pray but often, has nothing to say.

 She plays with the rain and hugs its thunder.

They say if you come for help she’d offer her heart on a golden tray.

Whenever she talks, people leave in wonder.

Though she says nothing at all but her silence is always heard.

They say, centuries ago she was just a caged bird.

She cries a lot when she’s asleep, she laughs to angels and saints.

Whenever sins visit her, the skies she paints.

No one understands what she means by flying at night,

They say she searches for death to fight;

They say her scream as she roars between trees is painful to hear

They say when she closes her eyes devils live in fear.

She has lived forever and died the second she was born,

They say God gave her special mourn

It’s the truth she’s always seeking 

Her words hold more than a thousand meaning.

She lives in the castles built from the sands

They say she reads special books with empty pages

They say she has cried for ages

They say her tears are imperceptible but her eyes talk frequently

Her hair has no color, her clothes have no price

She wears the same prayer regularly

They say she gives a new meaning to the word “nice”.

They say she often turns off the lights of her castle to think

And, time and again, her castles often sink

Her soul is always awake and asleep

Her truth repeatedly weeps

They say the sun consoles her when she tries to yield

The stars offer her a flower to decorate her field.

They say she walks on the streets just to walk

They say she talks to herself just to talk

They say she smiles when she cries and says the truth when she lies.

They say she calls for death just to be in her mother’s arms

They say life has no meaning once she’ll see God.

They say her whole charade is a play

She’s the hero and she’s waiting for the heroes to fail

They say she eats hunger and drinks thirst

They say she never sleeps and she always expects the worse.

They say her best friend is an invisible priest

In church is where she celebrates her feasts.

She often looks at the pictures of her wall

They say shadows soothe her when her leaves fall.

They say a lot of things and she never cares

They say loads of words when she passes but she never hears

They say fire tried to kill her but she has nothing to fear

They say sins tried to control her with temptation

But she was stronger than any persuasion.

She was created by an angel that doesn’t exist

People often seek her to ignore her mist

She cries because she has no other way

She tries because time doesn’t tolerate delay

God gave her light to sway

And a lamb to hug, a reason to stay

She has no fee to pay because she overlooks what they say!

Photo by: https://www.facebook.com/GatekeeperbyLucilleLK
Photo by:
https://www.facebook.com/GatekeeperbyLucilleLK

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2015

I am Charlie but not CharlieHebdo

#JeSuisCharlie took the social media by strom.
It was even present at the Golden Globes.

Well I am not with CharlieHebdo and certainly not with the violence and murder it witnessed.

I mean, as a Christian, the magazine made fun of my Jesus too and in a very awful and disrespectful way but that wouldn’t mean i would go and kill people who work there. Wouldn’t that mean that every idea or concept i represent do not match with my actions?

Killing and violence will now drive the people who work there more furious and they will double the irony.

#JeSuisCharlie because the reaction of those terrorists was idiotic but am certainly not into Charlie Hebdo which belittles evrything i believe in.

Am with the freedom of expression without hurting others, with getting to write my ideas for people to read without making them feel offended..

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014

Here’s a confession..

Numb.

Thats how I felt today.

Imagine yourself standing in the middle of nowhere, a desert surrounds you, buildings, people, screams, thoughts, fears…all there at the same time, and all collapsing bit by bit.

And you keep standing still as if nothing affects you.

Its ugly. The world has become ugly and bitter that I’m not sure what we’re fighting for anymore.

You’d feel you want to be grateful for the blessings you have but can’t seem to be happy about it with all the cruelty in the world. When was it okay to brutally mistreat a child? Insult a mother? Belittle a father? Make fun of the less fortunate?

People seem to be craving fame and money that everyone is cheap all the sudden.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-social nor bitter but this is my world, my home, my people…

The most difficult feeling in the world is “just standing there”, you can’t do anything, you watch where the world is going, you stand on the cliff that’s falling but it’s heavy to carry.

It all starts with denial. You deny the only truth you know. You never want things to go the way they go, but still hell with the truth! People want lies!

It often ends with disappointment; whether you planned it or not. It ends anyway.

The prayers you postpone, the people you ignore, the facts you hide and the life you throw away were never yours anyway.

As a matter of fact, you might spend your days solving problems and thinking of new ones, of new riddles to solve, puzzles to end, rules to break and lives to fake.

It starts and ends while you stare and stand and wonder what happened in between?!

We are in between!

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© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014

To the ones ruling the world

The difference between us and you is that we have the future, you have yesterday.  We are deep you’re shallow.
We lead you’re a follower.
We chose to build a life; you’re still stuck between the graves of your dead ones.
We try to argue, search, research, argue again and accept the differences; you’re an ignorant who still quotes his feelings and copy pastes his ideas.
We cry, we try, we fail and get back up again; you’ve fallen so long ago that no redemption can ever pull you back up again.
We sinned, we repented. You made mistakes and gave up to despair.
We know “superficial” when we see one, you know we know.
You hide your flaws; we create jokes around them.
We seek facts; you hide the truth.
We correct paths;  you create curved ones.
We know we’re twisted and different,  embrace it and make the best of it; you have lost your identity to the weak.
We get childish when we want to and become mature in opinion whenever we choose to; you can’t choose at all for yourself is not yours to control.
We cherish our hearts by keeping them locked for the ones we love;  you fall in love with every new comer.
We question; you’re a sponge.
We work hard; you complain.
We choose to be sarcastic because we can; you choose to be sarcatic because you think we can’t.
We are. You’re not.
We strive, we seek, we find. You strive.

Next time you try to show the world you’re something important (a man),  make sure you’re not the same boy we left behind 10 years ago.

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014

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