Just a statement

Here is a small statement about fashion i shared on my Facebook wall that I would love to hear your opinion about:

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2017

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“Hell is other people”

If there’s one thing I learned in life is to not judge people; no matter what.

Growing up as a kid; I used to do it because I was very religious and to me God and Jesus equaled “Love”; to love is to forgive, to love is to forget, to love is to let go, etc.

You might not agree with me on the “religion” part, but it sure paved the way.

A few years forward, I learned that every single person on earth is fighting a battle; every convict, selfish, thief, rapist once fought a battle. Well of course there are a bunch of assholes out there, forgiving doesn’t mean you should be passive and dumb. You are to roar and get angry but once you’re back into your own cage, you shut the door and let go!

See, dealing with people is hard! Jean-Paul Sartre wasn’t an idiot when he said: “Hell is other people.” It is.

Here’s the twist; for some reason, almost every person i know or meet finds me likeable but firm..allow me to elaborate: i hate “grey”! Ever heard of black or white? Yup, that’s me.

Am honest. Brutally honesty. No, I wouldn’t hurt you – the truth would. Not me though.

You’d ask me if that shirt looks good; I’ll tell you. I don’t care if it’s ugly and i don’t have to choose my words or decorate them to make them look good (even though i could); but truth is ugly. And trust me it was never colored. (No. A white lie doesn’t exist. Get over it.)

But wouldn’t the world be a bit better if we all were as brutally honest as some of us are? No one is a saint but hey! We try!

“Peopling” is hard, it sucks (thank God for coffee); it was never my thing – never will be.

They’re just so scared of going to hell that they act as sheep by day and wolves by night; for God’s sake, you can’t be scared of going to hell..i mean look around you; rape, murder, envy, war, etc…my friend, you’re already there!

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2016

God and I.

God and I are drifting apart.

I have no idea why but we don’t talk much anymore; don’t get me wrong, I still love and respect him but we’re not so close like we used to be.

I just don’t have the power nor the time to stop and listen; or to just sit there and appreciate all the beauty around me. It’s like am in a constant race against time and guess who’s always ahead!!

Sometimes I talk to him; i get angry a little then laugh at myself a little more but I have no idea if he still take me seriously or think of me as a lost cause.

Other times I just wonder if he’s actually there or if humanity just needed to create the idea of a God so we’d understand things and earth better..though i have witnessed miracles in my life and I do know that there is a good power out there helping me in ways i dont understand. But asking and doubting are what makes us human and hey..I tend to be very “human”. I am not afraid to understand or to learn new things, I jump in the mud because i know i can shower later on; I throw myself in that tornado – not because am untouchable- but because I know how to hang on to that tree waiting for the storm to pass..

Am I making sense to you?

See, I am a reader, a book lover..and when you read a lot; you ask a lot, some people stop at the question mark and others keep looking. Well, am still looking. For what? Glad you asked, because i have no clue what we’re searching for, but patience my friend; we’ll get there.

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2015

Parenting with a twist.

I haven’t been a parent for so long but i have been a human being a little longer than that.
From all the parents i have met,  meet and know in my life..i have concluded a few things about parenting which you may agree or disagree with; but anyway here you go..

If you have kids or might have one day..please take five minutes (a little bit more) and hear me out.

Do not attempt to be their teacher. Yes, teach them everything there is to know about life but do not play by the rules.
Your kids are supposed to experience fear, courage, struggle, independence, truth, lies…etc.
Do not shove the truth in their faces as they’re supposed to know it already. Allow them to dream, if they draw a flying elephant for example, first mention how beautiful their drawing is no matter how hideous you may find it as an adult, explain that elephants can’t fly but if that’s how they like them to be, it is just fine.

Be patient. Patience is key. Yeah i know sometimes with lack of sleep, problems at work and everything else you’ll find it hard to keep cool but just try. Take a deep breath and remember that every little word or action affects your kids.

Your children will not learn by words; they learn by imitation. They see you do. They do.
You can’t tell them that eating lots of chocolate is bad for their teeth while you grab a bar every two hours.

They can’t tell the difference. You can’t say: “am allowed to lie a little because am an adult. But you’re not because you’re a kid.” Next thing you know your kid will be giving himself excuses to lie as well.

Don’t live your dream or fear through them.
Don’t. Ever.
They’re not supposed to become doctors just because you want them to or because you couldn’t be one yourself. We didn’t bring them to this world so we can “robotize” them (you know what i mean).
Your fears are yours alone. Allow them to experience theirs, not live yours.

Take the time to explain everything with careful words suitable to their age. When a 3 year old asks where do babies come from; the answer is not similar to a 5, 7 or 10 year old.

Let them respect you and not fear you.

Be firm but fair. Tender but rough. Loving and caring but certain borders are not to be crossed.

Do not, by any circumstance forget about yourself. Yes we all know you adore your children but if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll find yourself not loving who you are and if you can’t love yourself others will find it hard to love you.

Do not curse them. Blame them. Pick yourself up. You didn’t ask them if they wanted to be brought to life, so deal with your own shit and get over it.

Your children will not cancel your plans of “living” instead you’ll have a few more to share your plans with.

Your kid will not be your disappointing brother nor your selfish best friend or your lying cousin. Don’t raise them with such “failures” in head. Your kids are different, they will grow as a reflection of you and not anyone else.

Don’t say no without an explanation. That would be cruel and unfair.
“Because I said so” is such an idiotic expression  and a sign of ignorance.
You can replace it with: “No mom you can’t eat chocolate because i wouldn’t want you to hurt your teeth and see you suffer with the dentist.”
Or: “No mommy no more tv for today because the TV is not going anywhere. It’s yours to use. But let’s try reading a story together and imagine it with our own heads. I used to do that when i was a kid and it was loads of fun.”
Just be creative. You brought a human being to the world. You’ll find something right to say.

There are probably no specific rules to parenting but if you can’t be a good father or mother..just don’t bring kids to this world. It’s not an obligation. Really.
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© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014 – 2015

فيصل القاسم..اياك والاعتذار!

لا تعتذر. فاعتذارك اهانة والجيش اللبناني اكبر من ان يقف دقيقة للاستماع الى كلمة “انا اسف” ممن لم يخسر ابنا، لم يبك على اخ قدم نفسه لنحيى، لم يجلس بحرقة منتظرا من رحل دون وداع ومن قال: “ماما انا راجع.” لا تعتذر، فرأيك لك وجيشنا لنا. لا يهم ما ترى حضرتك من إنجازات،  فنحن نحني رؤوسنا لمن ترك بيته، اهله واطفاله دون ان يعلم ما اذا كان سيعود ام لا.. اليسا ونانسي وغيرهن؟ لا يهم! نعم فجيشنا يغني انتصارات ويرقص مع ارواح الشهداء، يقدم ذاته على مذبح الوطن قربان، يضرب بيد من حديد كل من هدد ارضه، جيشنا لنا ولكم ما لكم. فما هو لكم ليس منكم وليس معكم. لا تعتذر. اترك الاعتذار لاصحاب الشهامة وللرجال، اترك هذا الاعتذار لنا، لابناء الجيش… عذرا والسماح يا ابطال لبنان، انتم من حاربتم اشباه الرجال، انتم من فديتم ارواحكم بلا خوف..انتم من قدمتم الأمل يا حماة المستقبل وامجاد الماضي ورجال الحاضر.

 © Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014

To the ones ruling the world

The difference between us and you is that we have the future, you have yesterday.  We are deep you’re shallow.
We lead you’re a follower.
We chose to build a life; you’re still stuck between the graves of your dead ones.
We try to argue, search, research, argue again and accept the differences; you’re an ignorant who still quotes his feelings and copy pastes his ideas.
We cry, we try, we fail and get back up again; you’ve fallen so long ago that no redemption can ever pull you back up again.
We sinned, we repented. You made mistakes and gave up to despair.
We know “superficial” when we see one, you know we know.
You hide your flaws; we create jokes around them.
We seek facts; you hide the truth.
We correct paths;  you create curved ones.
We know we’re twisted and different,  embrace it and make the best of it; you have lost your identity to the weak.
We get childish when we want to and become mature in opinion whenever we choose to; you can’t choose at all for yourself is not yours to control.
We cherish our hearts by keeping them locked for the ones we love;  you fall in love with every new comer.
We question; you’re a sponge.
We work hard; you complain.
We choose to be sarcastic because we can; you choose to be sarcatic because you think we can’t.
We are. You’re not.
We strive, we seek, we find. You strive.

Next time you try to show the world you’re something important (a man),  make sure you’re not the same boy we left behind 10 years ago.

© Sandra Chami Kassis – sandrachamikassis.wordpress.com, 2014

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