This is based on a real conversation.
– Sandra, I can’ find happiness.
– There is no such thing.
– Excuse me?
– There is no such thing as “being happy”, as finding “happiness”.. your search will never end. What is “happy”? Is it wealth? Fame? A PHD?..
– Wait. Your definition of happiness could be different than mine.
– Exactly. That is why, next time you should try searching for peace of mind, peace of heart, serenity, life..etc. People waste their whole lives searching for happiness to die in disappointment. So my friend, let’s try searching for life among death, and for truth among lies. Happiness is boring; it’s the end of all roads.
Let’s just suppose, you meet that day, that glorious day where you find your “happiness”; then what? What’s next? What’s beyond that? What comes after that? What will you search for next? The happiness of others? That’s not how things work; in the books we read and the fairytales we live probably, but not here my friend..not on earth.
– Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be your next post on your blog?
(I draw an evil smile on my face…and..oh well..)
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017
It’s Christmas time.
Wait. Allow me to repeat myself; it is “Christmas Time”.
Oh you don’t get it? Please, allow me to elaborate: it is not your time, not your girlfriend’s, nor your wife’s or kids’… it is CHRIST TIME.
Here is how Christmas happens nowadays:
Of course I understand that it’s part of our culture and tradition and nature should celebrate. That is clear. But why overdo it? When was simplicity not pretty or good enough? I mean, he, Jesus, was born in “poverty” and simplicity and so on..(well you know the story). Big trees, bigger Santas; seriously? The older i get, the bigger Santa’s belly seems to become..
Second: Gifts / Shopping.
The minute it begins; people start freaking out about what to get for their loved ones and kids. Make sure it’s expensive!! Jesus likes it when it blings. Just saying.
Over the years, it has become a tradition to write letters asking “Santa Claus ” for what we want. That’s what my parents taught me ( since they didn’t know any better) and that’s what parents of our generation (What a shock!!) are still teaching their kids.
No! You’re doing it wrong. If they have to write a letter; let it be to Jesus. Let them ask Jesus what they want and you can tell them that Jesus sends the gifts with Santa; that is, if you wouldn’t want to ruin the whole thing for them. ( Prioritize!)
Fourth: The real reason why.
People are forgetting why we celebrate his birth in the first place. Why it’s joy all over the world; why it brings a smile to your tears; peace to your heart and why for a second; it just lifts your soul up.
هي واقع مزيف انشد طويلا انشودة السلام
هي ابيات ضاعت بين الشعر والنثر وانواع الكلام
هي جنون عاقل رفض الرضوخ او الاستسلام
هي رفات من نور تبعثرها نيران الحقد والاتهام
قالوا فلنؤد لها ‘هي’ الف سلام وألف تحية
انشروا على قبرها الورود فهي رمز من رموز الحرية
قالوا: اطلقوا النيران ابتهاجا بروحها الأبية
وارقصوا على انغام روحها السماوية
هي لم ترد الحياة ولكنها اعطيت لها
هي لم تكن تريد الذكاء ولكن قدم لها
هي لم تملك الحكمة ولكن وهبت لها
هي ليست لنفسها ولكن نفسها لها
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017
If there’s one thing I learned in life is to not judge people; no matter what.
Growing up as a kid; I used to do it because I was very religious and to me God and Jesus equaled “Love”; to love is to forgive, to love is to forget, to love is to let go, etc.
You might not agree with me on the “religion” part, but it sure paved the way.
A few years forward, I learned that every single person on earth is fighting a battle; every convict, selfish, thief, rapist once fought a battle. Well of course there are a bunch of assholes out there, forgiving doesn’t mean you should be passive and dumb. You are to roar and get angry but once you’re back into your own cage, you shut the door and let go!
See, dealing with people is hard! Jean-Paul Sartre wasn’t an idiot when he said: “Hell is other people.” It is.
Here’s the twist; for some reason, almost every person i know or meet finds me likeable but firm..allow me to elaborate: i hate “grey”! Ever heard of black or white? Yup, that’s me.
Am honest. Brutally honesty. No, I wouldn’t hurt you – the truth would. Not me though.
You’d ask me if that shirt looks good; I’ll tell you. I don’t care if it’s ugly and i don’t have to choose my words or decorate them to make them look good (even though i could); but truth is ugly. And trust me it was never colored. (No. A white lie doesn’t exist. Get over it.)
But wouldn’t the world be a bit better if we all were as brutally honest as some of us are? No one is a saint but hey! We try!
“Peopling” is hard, it sucks (thank God for coffee); it was never my thing – never will be.
They’re just so scared of going to hell that they act as sheep by day and wolves by night; for God’s sake, you can’t be scared of going to hell..i mean look around you; rape, murder, envy, war, etc…my friend, you’re already there!
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2016
God and I are drifting apart.
I have no idea why but we don’t talk much anymore; don’t get me wrong, I still love and respect him but we’re not so close like we used to be.
I just don’t have the power nor the time to stop and listen; or to just sit there and appreciate all the beauty around me. It’s like am in a constant race against time and guess who’s always ahead!!
Sometimes I talk to him; i get angry a little then laugh at myself a little more but I have no idea if he still take me seriously or think of me as a lost cause.
Other times I just wonder if he’s actually there or if humanity just needed to create the idea of a God so we’d understand things and earth better..though i have witnessed miracles in my life and I do know that there is a good power out there helping me in ways i dont understand. But asking and doubting are what makes us human and hey..I tend to be very “human”. I am not afraid to understand or to learn new things, I jump in the mud because i know i can shower later on; I throw myself in that tornado – not because am untouchable- but because I know how to hang on to that tree waiting for the storm to pass..
Am I making sense to you?
See, I am a reader, a book lover..and when you read a lot; you ask a lot, some people stop at the question mark and others keep looking. Well, am still looking. For what? Glad you asked, because i have no clue what we’re searching for, but patience my friend; we’ll get there.
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2015
When my doctor hit me with the diagnosis of having “Celiac Disease”; my first thought was: ‘ I survived migraines for years, this should be a piece of cake! ‘
Well, not really. Cakes are not allowed.
The first thing i did after arriving home was opening my laptop, going to Google and reading everything there is to know about Celiac.
What all websites had in common was hitting you with the good news: “Now you can eat healthy. Almost all healthy food is gluten free and allowed when you’re on a “celiac diet”..”
What they forgot to mention was the word ‘delicious’; ok so vegetables and fruits are great (that i can live with) but black beans? Gluten free products?
No am not difficult as you might think but for a vegetarian who does not eat chicken nor tolerate red meat, does not eat chocolate since it triggers my migraine headaches..having celiac disease sucks.
For the first two weeks i have lived on bananas and apples..then i went healthy (oh well)..
Now, on Christmas eve i thought to myself: what’s the worst that could happen? Diharrea again? I can survive with that. Let’s eat gluten..and i did. I ate pizza, cake, etc.
Ohh the human weakness..and so the symptoms went back. Yeah symptom (s), with an -s, it started from intestinal pain, diarrhea, itching, iron deficiency, mouth sores, numbness to chest pain..yeah all that from eating 1 slice of pizza and 1 piece of cake..
I can’t complain, am still luckier than many..but this goes out to all of you who underestimate the seriousness of this illness and its long term effects and as a salute to all of those who suffer from celiac.
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2015
#JeSuisCharlie took the social media by strom.
It was even present at the Golden Globes.
Well I am not with CharlieHebdo and certainly not with the violence and murder it witnessed.
I mean, as a Christian, the magazine made fun of my Jesus too and in a very awful and disrespectful way but that wouldn’t mean i would go and kill people who work there. Wouldn’t that mean that every idea or concept i represent do not match with my actions?
Killing and violence will now drive the people who work there more furious and they will double the irony.
#JeSuisCharlie because the reaction of those terrorists was idiotic but am certainly not into Charlie Hebdo which belittles evrything i believe in.
Am with the freedom of expression without hurting others, with getting to write my ideas for people to read without making them feel offended..
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014
I haven’t been a parent for so long but i have been a human being a little longer than that.
From all the parents i have met, meet and know in my life..i have concluded a few things about parenting which you may agree or disagree with; but anyway here you go..
If you have kids or might have one day..please take five minutes (a little bit more) and hear me out.
Do not attempt to be their teacher. Yes, teach them everything there is to know about life but do not play by the rules.
Your kids are supposed to experience fear, courage, struggle, independence, truth, lies…etc.
Do not shove the truth in their faces as they’re supposed to know it already. Allow them to dream, if they draw a flying elephant for example, first mention how beautiful their drawing is no matter how hideous you may find it as an adult, explain that elephants can’t fly but if that’s how they like them to be, it is just fine.
Be patient. Patience is key. Yeah i know sometimes with lack of sleep, problems at work and everything else you’ll find it hard to keep cool but just try. Take a deep breath and remember that every little word or action affects your kids.
Your children will not learn by words; they learn by imitation. They see you do. They do.
You can’t tell them that eating lots of chocolate is bad for their teeth while you grab a bar every two hours.
They can’t tell the difference. You can’t say: “am allowed to lie a little because am an adult. But you’re not because you’re a kid.” Next thing you know your kid will be giving himself excuses to lie as well.
Don’t live your dream or fear through them.
They’re not supposed to become doctors just because you want them to or because you couldn’t be one yourself. We didn’t bring them to this world so we can “robotize” them (you know what i mean).
Your fears are yours alone. Allow them to experience theirs, not live yours.
Take the time to explain everything with careful words suitable to their age. When a 3 year old asks where do babies come from; the answer is not similar to a 5, 7 or 10 year old.
Let them respect you and not fear you.
Be firm but fair. Tender but rough. Loving and caring but certain borders are not to be crossed.
Do not, by any circumstance forget about yourself. Yes we all know you adore your children but if you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll find yourself not loving who you are and if you can’t love yourself others will find it hard to love you.
Do not curse them. Blame them. Pick yourself up. You didn’t ask them if they wanted to be brought to life, so deal with your own shit and get over it.
Your children will not cancel your plans of “living” instead you’ll have a few more to share your plans with.
Your kid will not be your disappointing brother nor your selfish best friend or your lying cousin. Don’t raise them with such “failures” in head. Your kids are different, they will grow as a reflection of you and not anyone else.
Don’t say no without an explanation. That would be cruel and unfair.
“Because I said so” is such an idiotic expression and a sign of ignorance.
You can replace it with: “No mom you can’t eat chocolate because i wouldn’t want you to hurt your teeth and see you suffer with the dentist.”
Or: “No mommy no more tv for today because the TV is not going anywhere. It’s yours to use. But let’s try reading a story together and imagine it with our own heads. I used to do that when i was a kid and it was loads of fun.”
Just be creative. You brought a human being to the world. You’ll find something right to say.
© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2015
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