MP Nicolas Fattoush punched on Monday an office worker in the neck after she refused to prioritize his file at the Baabda judicial palace.

Here are the reasons why Fattoush is not guilty of anything:

1- He. Is. A. Minister.

Helloooo!! A minister? Do you even know what the word means? And he is not some regular minister, he is a Lebanese minister.

So the guy is practically a God! He can hit people, smash them, terrorize them; who the hell are you to stop him?

2- Because he is a minister chosen by the people (sadly), he can cross the line without actually caring about those who were waiting for hours. They can wait, they don’t have jobs or kids or anything but he can’t. He doesn’t have the time. He is a minister. Did I mention he was a minister?

3- The office worker is a girl. (Do you see where I’m heading?)

He is a man. She is a woman. He can hit her. Unless she had the black belt or The Rock as her bodyguard; she wouldn’t be able to hit back. Therefore, he’d feel stronger and manly enough to scare her. Do you see the genius there?

4- The guy was angry. Can’t a man express his anger by punching a few people here and there?

5- He is one of the ministers who demand an extension of the parliament, why elect a president while the Lebanese army faces terrorists everyday and innocent people are dying? Extension is a priority.

6- Because of this; you now know who he is. (Stop laughing, this is not ironic. Ok, you can laugh, but just a little).

7- He has superpowers. He got elected and will be re-elected, so he must have a “Superman” inside of him. You just can’t see it. *Where the hell is the kryptonite?*

8- He is not here to serve people, the people are here to serve him. Served!

9- He’s got money. Probably loads. Money means power, means people will respect him, will serve him coffee and serve him their necks on a plate, for free.

10- He is not guilty, I repeat, he is not guilty. We are. You are.

Now elect him again.


© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014