How I turned from a liar to an honest

It started when I was almost 7.

My parents got divorced (no big deal); but wait, back then; it was a huge deal. Women who got divorced were looked at differently so my grandmother made sure we don’t mention it to friends..

Besides the psychological shock of being abandoned and all the residues you can imagine; a few years forward and here I was; a 15 year old girl who had lots of friends and no truth in her at all. What was I suppose to tell my friends? I don’t know where my dad is? He left us just like that? No! Instead I made a whole different story in my head by imagining a “perfect dad” and bringing him to life through a web of lies.

My father was a doctor working in New York, we visit in the summer and he comes whenever he can (that’s where I got my perfect English from – or not)..of course it didn’t last long before everyone knew I was lying and was stamped with being a “fake” for the rest of high school and you can imagine the rest.

Did it hurt? yes.

Back then, I had no explanation of what I’d done, I lost my friends, my entourage and my good reputation for being real, no one understood why I did what I did; but it was that incident that made me embrace the truth.

I am not defined by my parents like our ancestors taught us; I define myself, it was at that exact moment that i started telling the truth no matter what. I transformed from a person living a complete lie,  an illusion to an honest and direct person who allows herself to dream through books.

Now, 17 years later, I have become sharp, honest, say what I think, don’t compromise when it comes to the truth and give my opinion of anything objectively. Not all people like that side of me but they all respect it.

Don’t I have flaws? Oh so many, but lying isn’t one of them; see, people talk a lot nowadays but they rarely say anything!

What? Mother

He doesn’t look at me like before mother..

He hasn’t noticed my hair or how i try to look pretty for him..

Mother, I’m not even sure if he sees me..

He doesn’t hold my hand

He wouldn’t hug me, not even once mother ..

He passes quietly by our quarrels like a guest when I desperately need him to speak

He sips his coffee, reads his paper and wouldn’t chat with me like before mother..

He treats me like a shadow while I reach for him screaming with unheard voices

He says he still cares but I highly doubt that mother

What have i done? What have i become? Where has he gone mother?

I pray to fall asleep every night but the bed doesn’t feel comfortable like before

The walls silently suffocate me as i stare at the nothingness around me

It’s probably my destiny mother

To learn to just love myself and write to you mother

He slipped away unlike anything you predicted mother

He doesn’t love me anymore and thinks I’m insane mother

He loves me, loves me not, loves me, not..

What have you done mother?



Here is a question: what if when we die; we get to meet God and he asks us one question: “How was heaven?!

So how is “your heaven” so far? Any good?

Can you imagine waiting your whole life to live eternity in a “heaven”, any heaven … and you discover in the end that earth was the paradise we all once dreamt of but we screwed it up?

Let that sync for a moment..

The featured picture is credited to ” Tatiana Plakhova” – Music-Portraits-series

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017


بينسوا إنّو أوقات تحت “الماركات” اللّي بيلبسوا، أجساد بلا روح وجماجم بلا دماغ

بينسوا إنّو الخَسّي اللّي بتكبر براسن إذا ما سقيوها علم وثقافة بتعفّن وبتصير للكبّ

بينسوا انّو الدّني بتدور والدّرج اللّي استعملوا ليطلعوا رح يرجع ينزلن

بينسوا يقروا بين السّطور مِكتفيّين بيلّي بشوفوا

بينسوا يفكروا، يحبّوا، يسامحوا

هلّق يمكن بينسوا يتذكروا أو بيتذكروا ينسوا…ما بعرف، بصراحة نسيت

ساندرا الشامي القسّيس

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017

Just a statement

Here is a small statement about fashion i shared on my Facebook wall that I would love to hear your opinion about:

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017


– It’s okay.

In life you will get hurt, you will be treated as a “nobody” and that’s okay.

You will get angry, you will get mad and that’s okay.

You will live in denial at times and other times you will embrace the truth and that’s okay.

You will try your best, you will give up then try again; sometimes you will feel alive and sometimes you will feel numb and that’s okay.

Every day will be slightly different and that’s okay.

You ‘ll turn that alarm off, drag yourself out of bed, hoping for a miracle, just any miracle would do. The day begins, it ends…you finish it looking like a zombie and that’s okay.

A glass of wine; white wine preferably. You sit by the window, grab a book you’ve wanted to read a year ago. One hour later; the glass is empty, the book is still closed, you’re still looking from that window and that’s okay.

A dream would do. You’re good wih dreaming; it’s what keeps you going. Dream big or dream small, whatever. As long as you come back then it’s okay.

Forget dreaming. Go dancing. Let yourself loose for once. Release that inner child. Make a mistake. It’s alright, it’s okay.

Stop caring if you lose them, let them care for once it’s okay.

Throw a lie here and there; standing by a principle is no longer fashionable..and that’s okay.

– Wait! So when is it NOT okay?

– You, convincing yourself that THIS is okay!

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017

School or Alcatraz! 

I haven’t been a teacher for long but ive read for longer than ive known; and ive been a mother a bit longer; plus, I have been in love with kids since ever and my passion for teaching and giving for children is higher than any career i have known.

But just like any profession, i believe that our teaching system needs to be improved; especially in our country where it needs to be “revolutionized”. Please, allow me to elaborate.

First, what ever happened to respect? I mean call me old fashioned but the words “please” , “thank you” , “May I” , “Good morning” etc. Which should be tought at home seem to be missed from our kids’ vocabulary. So a session or two of “savoir vivre” per week are a must!

Second, we oblige our students especially those of young age to sit for 7 hours or so straight in silence hushing them not allowing them to say a word or move and then we accuse them of suffering from ADHD. Or better yet, we give them full freedom to move around and say whatever the hell they want and once the hit a certain grade they’re not allowed to move anymore. What happened to going “in between”?

Third, adopting new methods! We can’t keep recycling our old teaching method and call it history. Have you heard of Finland? Have you seen Finland’s students? New methods should include games, art, dancing, whatever students are good at! It’s no big deal if a student doesn’t like maths or doesn’t understand shakespeare..

Fourth, we stress on grades and give high importance to comparison (especially parents) that students end up thinking only of their grades and end the day learning nothing.

Shouldn’t school be all about experiencing new stuff and the joy of new information?

We suck this joy out of our students that they literally drag theirselves to prison ( oh sorry i meant school) praying it will end their suffering with every breath they take.

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017

How weak is that?!

There are two kinds of people: the kind and the cruel.

As far as I know, nice people are not always as nice as they seem; their kindness can be a result of weakness. Same as for the unkind ones, their cruelty may be a sign of weakness too.. that is why whenever we judge someone we should always make sure they’re strong enough.

Oddly enough, nowadays people seem to confuse weakness with kindness and vice versa.. See, weakness is not something one should be ashamed of but at the same time there are scales of weaknesses; allow me to elaborate:

1- The weak-shallow kind:

are those people who take words literally the way they are. They just turn the right cheek and beg you to slap them thinking that would be their stairway to heaven. That is not “kindness”, this is the “walking on the safe side of the road” kind..they follow the rules (every single one of them) which is annoying sometimes because they don’t do it by conviction – they do it out of fear.

2 – The weak – smart ass kind:

He helps everybody because he loves the attention, because he likes being the “savior” and by savior I mean finding where the sugar is.. because that’s all they can do. They’re so busy making themselves busy with stupid stuff that they forget what actually matters.

3 – The weak – strong kind:

Weak – strong? Yeah I know. Here’s how it goes: they think they’re strong, they play strong, they showcase their strength but once alone, they’re insecure.

4 – The weak – cruel kind:

They act cruel because being cruel is the only choice they have. They know nothing else. They don’t know how to be anything else. How weak is that?!

5 – The normal weak:

That’s everybody else. We all have a certain weakness or a bit more; or probably all the above. Which is kind of beautiful; because there’s no such thing as perfect and it’s boring anyway! Truth is, weakness motivates us to be better, to do better, to dig for strength and to fight the death in us; let’s stay alive!

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017

Happiness: there’s no such thing.

This is based on a real conversation.

– Sandra, I can’ find happiness.

There is no such thing.

– Excuse me?

There is no such thing as “being happy”, as finding “happiness”.. your search will never end. What is “happy”? Is it wealth? Fame? A PHD?..

– Wait. Your definition of happiness could be different than mine.

Exactly. That is why, next time you should try searching for peace of mind, peace of heart, serenity, life..etc. People waste their whole lives searching for happiness to die in disappointment. So my friend, let’s try searching for life among death, and for truth among lies. Happiness is boring; it’s the end of all roads.

Let’s just suppose, you meet that day, that glorious day where you find your “happiness”; then what? What’s next? What’s beyond that? What comes after that? What will you search for next? The happiness of others? That’s not how things work; in the books we read and the fairytales we live probably, but not here my friend..not on earth. 

– Why do I have a feeling that this is going to be your next post on your blog?

(I draw an evil smile on my face…and..oh well..)

© Sandra Chami Kassis –, 2014 – 2017

It’s a jolly molly…Yeah okay!

It’s Christmas time. 

Wait. Allow me to repeat myself; it is “Christmas Time”. 

Oh you don’t get it? Please, allow me to elaborate: it is not your time, not your girlfriend’s, nor your wife’s or kids’… it is CHRIST TIME. 

Here is how Christmas happens nowadays:

First: decorations

Of course I understand that it’s part of our culture and tradition and nature should celebrate. That is clear. But why overdo it? When was simplicity not pretty or good enough? I mean, he, Jesus, was born in “poverty” and simplicity and so on..(well you know the story). Big trees, bigger Santas; seriously? The older i get, the bigger Santa’s belly seems to become..

Second: Gifts / Shopping.

The minute it begins; people start freaking out about what to get for their loved ones and kids. Make sure it’s expensive!! Jesus likes it when it blings. Just saying.
Third: Kids.

Over the years, it has become a tradition to write letters asking “Santa Claus ” for what we want. That’s what my parents taught me ( since they didn’t know any better) and that’s what parents of our generation (What a shock!!) are still teaching their kids. 

No! You’re doing it wrong. If they have to write a letter; let it be to Jesus. Let them ask Jesus what they want and you can tell them that Jesus sends the gifts with Santa; that is, if you wouldn’t want to ruin the whole thing for them. ( Prioritize!)

Fourth: The real reason why.

People are forgetting why we celebrate his birth in the first place. Why it’s joy all over the world; why it brings a smile to your tears; peace to your heart and why for a second; it just lifts your soul up.


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